LESSER RATE OF DIVORCE IN INDIAN SOCIETY IS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF?

Mythological India: Ram asks Sita to go through agni pariksha (test of entering fire to prove chastity) and Sita does it to save their relationship. 

Medieval India: A dependent daughter, sister, wife defining her life according to the male dominant society.

India in the 21st century: Independent women share equal responsibilities of the family and take ownership. 

We have very often come across statements like "Western lifestyle" doesn't value relationships - they are immature and hence they have more divorce rate than India." 

There are two points to infer from the above statements: 

1. Indian society has been very adaptable and compatible which is locked in our culture, routine and behaviour and hence we are very good at maintaining relationships especially long lasting marriages. 

2. If we look deeply and give it a thought again we would find that the major credit for these successful relationships are our women who have been working as homemakers for centuries in the society and the chauvinist men have been ignoring their sincere effort in bringing up the families. 

If we refer to the historical texts, we would find that since ancient Indian civilization to the modern global India, women have been through all atrocities, be it sexual abuse, rape, marital rape, dowry tortures and many more disgraceful pains and still they have been patiently bearing all this just to keep their family strong and growing. 

Since childhood they are trained to live up to the fact that they will be hooked to an individual be it good or bad. To add to that, illiteracy and dependency on spouses have always forced them to accept him in which ever condition they have been. The icing on the cake is the law and order in our society takes a lot of time to give them their due respect compared to European or Western countries, where women have long been empowered to live respectful and dignified lives. Their culture allows them to quit a relationship if it is not working or if they are being forced, whereas in Indian society we still consider it as a social stigma to be divorced. 

Suppose an Indian woman is married to an abusive, promiscuous and alcoholic husband, she is told by her mother, grandmother, great grandmother to bear the beatings, adultery and the inebriated condition of her husband. Due to this scenario, many women are contracting AIDS and other STDs, and go through needless trauma.

Kal aanalum kanavan, pul aanalum purushan. This is a Tamil saying that means "Even if he is a stone, he is your husband, even if he is grass, he is your better half." What this adage implies is, no matter how bad or distasteful your husband is, he is your husband and you should not leave him even when he is the death of you, clobbers you at his whim and fancy, spits in your face and urinates on you.

If the saying applies to Indian husbands as well then I won't be writing this - it is not and that necessitates me to write this. For the husbands and in-laws, frightfully mothers-in-law and sisters-in-laws, if the lady doesn't bring enough dowry (which is outlawed in India but still rampant) she would be balled to her parents' house to bring more money or stuff, tortured and even burnt alive. If she does not give birth to a son, she would be mocked and threatened that if she doesn't produce a male heir for the family, the husband would marry another girl. If a lady does not get pregnant in two years into her marriage, she is accused of being infertile, the husband is never blamed.  If it is discovered that a girl is growing in the womb of a lady, her husband and in-laws murder the unborn child and blame the lady for not conceiving a boy. Technically, it is the husband who determines the gender of his baby. Chromosomes XY for males and XX for females; if the sperm carries the Y chromosome and penetrate the ovum which has the fixed X chromosome, a boy would be formed and otherwise.

If the above happens to a western or a Europe lady, the husband will be behind bars by now. There was one case where an American lady divorced her husband because he farts loudly.

Two extremes.

So the question arises now (which is left to individuals to decide) should we be proud of the fact that Indian society has less number of divorces? Should we be happy about the fact that since the female gender suffered so much we have a stronger society as the result or should we be sorry for domestic violence and the exploitation of women?

I am not saying that Indian women should divorce their husbands because they fart loudly. What I'm trying to say is, what kind of quality of life they get when their husbands treat them like a punching bag and a door mat. I mean, there is a limit for everything - why should anyone, both men and women tolerate an abusive relationship for the sake of others - parents, family honor, children and society? Why worry what others think of you? Are they paying your utility bills each month? We have only this life as we know it so lets live it for ourselves. As long as you don't hurt others, nothing is wrong.

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