RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIMS, CHIN UP!

When I was 5 years old an old man approached me at my brothers little league game and told me he had my grandma's car and to come with him cause she wanted to see me. I believed him and followed him and he molested me.

At age 13 I liked a MUCH older boy, a lot. He and I coupled up and one day we went to his place attacked me in his bedroom. Not only was I raped, but I ended up DATING him because I thought I had to marry the person I had sex with for the first time. I endured 3 months of sadistic torture and abuse. I still have scars on my body from it.

When I was 15, a group of my friends (all girls) went to a 27 year old guys house cause he could get us booze. He roofied our drinks - after just one, the room fogged and I remember freaking out trying to tell my girlfriends we had been drugged.. ALL of us were sexually abused that night, and photos were taken....

For years I spent most of my time hating myself with all my heart. I felt disgusting, vile, used up and put away wet. Honestly, sometimes I still do. However, it isn't as much as I used to. I thought no one would ever love me. That any guy or girl I tried to date would take flight the moment I tried to explain to them how I was abused. 

I have suffered night terrors so bad I have physically injured myself. Out of a 7 day week, 5 of those days I usually have nightmares or flashbacks. I became addicted to drugs for 10 years - all trying to drown out the pain and because of my drug addiction, I put myself in situations that led to me being abused again. I was completely broken. I have 4 failed suicide attempts under my belt. There was no light at the end of my tunnel. I started abusive behavior towards myself when it came to relationships. I seemed to only get intimate with people who treated me like shit be it verbally or physically. 

But, this year, everything has changed for me. 2013 going to 2014 is the year that it all kinda fell into perspective. I don't have to be abused, even slightly, and neither do YOU.

To anyone out there that has been raped or molested, you are NOT filthy. You are NOT used up and you will meet someone who will love you. Someone who will hold you in the dark hours of the night when you have your flashbacks and they will NOT think you are scummy or worthless. This only adds character and complexity to an already amazing person. We are amazing people. We survived something a lot of people couldn't and because of it, we are stronger. We are more witty and bright, more interesting and deep. From people like us true art is born - in pictures, writing, craftsmanship; you name it, we are inspired. I know some of you have suffered people calling you names because of this, telling you that you deserved it; it is my belief that these very people will face karma before they die. Don't keep anyone who has a negative thing to say about what has happened to you near you. People fear that which they cannot understand and hell, some people have a hard time understanding how anyone can touch a child, or force themselves on ANYONE sexually. Maybe they just don't get how we survived to be better people than they are, so they attack us to feel better about their mundane and useless lives.

You, me, and anyone else who has been through this are victors and winners, plain and simple.

Don't destroy your chance at getting your life back on track...don't let "them" win.

This was effing hard to write but it begged to be written!

Also read:

• Inside the mind of a rapist
• How my dad helped me overcome rape

Don't forget to share with your friends and colleagues

You can leave your comments below, in the Comment Section. We like to have a healthy debate here. Please avoid profanity, personal attacks and rouse racial and religious sensitivity. The views of the commentators are not shared by Both Coin. The bottomline is, comment sensibly with relevance to the article.