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Many of us have been there. We find ourselves stuck in absolute misery with someone we committed to. In my case, I am a woman of my word and I gave my word i would do everything possible to make my relationship last till I died. However, I realized that I should not have to DIE INSIDE to make that possible. I should not have to weep every night and feel disgusting and alone. These were not the feelings that a healthy and loving relationship brings.
There is NO REASON anyone should EVER have to go through that. In our 20's, we allow this shit to happen because we are young and we do not know any better. Abusers beat you down. they make you feel like you are worthless and will never survive without them by your side. the truth is, THEY are worthless and they are sucking your life force out of you to feel better about their own bad behavior. As we age, some of us wise up and get out. It feels like you are DYING when you do, but boy, the light at the end of that tunnel is unlike ANY you have ever seen!!!
If your lover does not honor you, respect you, protect and care for you. If they do not make you feel safe and connected then they are NOT WORTH YOUR TIME! Furthermore, if they hit or hurt themselves in fits of rage, smash objects in your home, etc...Know that this behavior will quickly escalate and turn on you. These people are NOT worth your time to try to fix. They are broken and have zero business being in a relationship with you till a professional tells them they are ready.
Men and women who act this way usually put on an act in front of others. They try to convince you that YOU are insane, that they never did things you saw them do with your own two eyes...that YOU FORCE them to act this way. Never in my life have I acted in any way other than that which I chose to. Same goes for them. Do not let a person convince you that they have never acted so horrifically till they were with you. This is them projecting their negative feelings about themselves onto you so that they can sleep at night.
When you do leave, call in the troops. I had my good friend AND my brother come help me pack up...I felt WAY safer knowing that I had people around me in a volatile situation. Do NOT leave alone. I know many of you feel you are...abusers make sure you only talk with THEIR friends, etc. Call the police...they will sit with you in your house till you pack up if you are scared. Go to your local fire station and ask for help. You will be surprised at how many people are willing to go into the house of horrors to make sure YOU are safe during this transition. Do not pull this trigger till you are protected by loved ones or the police. furthermore, do not speak to the abuser till at least a few months have gone by...those are the most dangerous months after leaving a crazy relationship. Men and women alike have been known to pick up guns and run amok.
YOU are amazing. You do NOT need to be attached to some broken psycho to be worth something. You are worth MORE without them. Your kids are worth more than your broken attachment to a psycho. GET RID OF EM!
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