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"Ponnu na adakkam venum , athra pada kudaathu, amaithi venum , arajagam panna kudaathu, baya bakthiya irrukanum, ippadi bajariya irruka koodathu... mothathele, pombale , pombalaiyaa irrukanum."
And the definition of being 'woman' in the Indian society is defined by men and sometimes women too.
The above is a famous punch dialogue delivered in the Tamil movie Padaiyappa, starring Rajinikanth.
For those of you who don't know Tamil, here is the translation:
"If you are a woman you need to be submissive, you shouldn't get outraged, you need to be subdued, not loud, shouldn't be like a hoyden, must be benignly fearful. As a whole, a woman should be like a woman"
Many Indians hail the punch dialogue as one that should be followed through when it comes to 'how women should behave.'
If a woman is outspoken, she is told to take it a couple of notches down because the trait would affect the process of finding a guy for marriage and later cause divorce! The same is not true for men; even if a man batters his wife, she is expected to bear with it like a good wife.
If a woman is more intelligent or capable than her male colleagues or her husband, she will be branded as conceited and a show off and the male counterpart would try their level best to 'keep her in her place' because she is a woman!
In a case scenario where the wife gives sensible advice to her husband who is traveling on the wrong track, his ego would be challenged and instead of even hearing her out, he'd tell her to shut up and not be a charlatan, adding that he does not need advice from 'women.
Some married men expect their wives to serve them hand and foot - never mind that she is a working woman; she still has to pick up her husband's underwear lying on the floor where he left it.
Some women, especially elderly women in the family don't see the need of a girl to continue her studies as high as possible, citing that it would be hard to find her a husband if she studies too much and also that by being highly educated, the girl would develop confidence which is not good for a girl. It can be assumed that some Indian mindset perceive that if a guy is highly educated it would earn him respect but if a woman is highly educated she would gain arrogance. So most Indian males strive to search a girl who is less educated and earns less than them to marry.
All the above boil down to a skewed mindset that women is inferior to male and that women have assigned tasks that would emasculate men if they take such tasks up.
If guests come over, it is always the women of the house who have to serve drinks and refreshments while men of the house sit and talk; it is a tacit understanding which derives its ethos from patriarchal establishments.
Indian men doing household chores is looked upon with aversion because it is a 'a woman's job. With Kalpana Chawla having gone to outer space, this segregation is regressive.
The Indian perspective on how women should behave is no longer relevant. It's 2013, not 1913. The world is fast progressing with women playing a prominent part in the progression. Relegating Indian women would result in a regressive Indian society.
EMPOWERING WOMEN IS THE WAY TO GO!
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