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It is usually women who are victims of domestic violence - but, violence is gender blind. Domestic violence victimize men too.
Verbal abuse is the most common domestic violence that married men put up with. If the wife is more educated or earns more than the husband, it is likely for the woman to poke and prod at the man's lesser attributes. In order to humiliate the husband even more, a wife may denounce him in front of his children, the wife's relatives or even in public.
I have seen once - the father of my friend asked her mother's permission to go out and to my utter horror, the lady spat right on his face and told him to get lost. Shame evident on his face, he wiped the spit and phlegm off his face and left the house.
Later, my friend confided in me that her mother treats her father worse than a lackey. It is because her mother hailed from a wealthy background while her father is not so well to do. Her mother always pinpoints her father's inferiority and her father bore with it - to save his marriage and to spare his children from going through a messy parental split. The thing that needs to be noted is that my friend's father doesn't drink alcohol or smoke.
Many men suffer in silence - while there are organizations to help women who underwent domestic violence, there are no such organizations for men. Of course ratio plays a huge part; more women are abused than men but we should acknowledge that men are victims as well.
A relative of mine doesn't let her husband to enter the house and forbids him from talking to their only daughter who will be 14 next year. She also hits him and his mother-in-law would egg her daughter on.
She banished him to the front yard of the house and that is where he basically lives - he bathes, eats and sleeps outside; his wife doesn't even give him boiled water to drink; he drinks from the tap.
His wife takes all of what he earns and the money the welfare department he gets every month.
He roams the neighborhood like a vagrant, gathering water spinach and tender fern shoots and sells them in the market. He practically has no dignity thanks to the woman he married.
Domestic violence is debilitating and it is true for both genders. No one deserves to be abused, both mentally and physically. Understanding, trust and love are paramount in marriage; one should indulge in them, abuse should not even pop up as an option to devalue their spouse.
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