I'M A DARK SKINNED INDIAN GIRL, PROBLEM?

1 December 2013

Skin color is a big deal for Indians, well at least for some Indians, with fair skin being coveted and dark skin being less desirable. And, this is especially true for Indian girls.
Just look at Indian matrimony ads; among the academic and career credentials of a potential bride, it includes skin color - fair skin is preferred.

I wonder if they are looking for a wife or a heroine to make a movie in Indian cinema.

The Indian cinema contributes a great deal to this scenario - while there are dark skinned leading actors (although fair skinned actors outnumber dark ones) there are only a handful of dark skinned Indian actresses and many Indian actresses bleached their skin in order to appear more 'appealing.' One can gauge how much this obsession with skin color runs deep by the passing off of a white British actress Amy Jackson as an Indian in the Hindi movie, 'Ek Deewana Tha.'


A friend of mine, who is dark skinned told me about the bias and mistreatment she underwent within her family due to her complexion and her story is similar to many dark skinned Indian girls out there.

For her cousin's wedding, dusky Anjali's (not her real name) aunt picked her younger sister who is fairer than her as the bride's maid and this continued for all her cousins' weddings. They never asked Anjali to be bride's maid although she is the elder one. Anjali's cousins on her mother's side are all fair and they practice a subtle discrimination against her - noticing her complexion becoming lighter and asking her about it, then comment that she had been staying indoors, no wonder she looks better. 

Then, there is this negative perception that Anjali is lazy and that she doesn't do household chores. Relatives go to the extent of pointing out any small mistakes that Anjali makes, nitpicking. But, this was never a problem with her fair skinned sister; no one says anything even if she doesn't do a thing.

Anjali's grandma actually recommended Anjali's younger sister when someone was looking for a bride in an arranged marriage. Anjali's grandma totally skipped her despite the fact that she is more accomplished than her sister and the fact that she is elder than her sister.

Marriage is evasive for Anjali, arranged marriage, that is. Relatives always tell her to settle for a 'less-than-perfect-man on the tacit understanding of her deemed less-than-perfect skin color. 

Relatives come up with -they know this guy and that, then describe these guys physically. One of Anjali's aunt actually remarked - you should not judge a guy based on physical looks. Instead see if he is capable of keeping you happy. It is not the case for girls, looks are judged sometimes above everything else.

It can be said that guys are not so particular about skin colors. But, the ladies in the family - be it the guy's or girl's who are the ones emphasizing on the skin color of the bride.

Often, either the broker/middle person disqualifies potential brides based on skin color or the family of the guy seeks for a fair skinned lady. The skin color of the guy is never an issue, the phrase, tall, dark and handsome, holding the notion up. 

Some dark skinned Indian guys justify their search for a fair bride is to have fair children; since they are dark, they want their offspring to be of a more favorable color. Biology fails here. 

The preparation for having fair skin begins in the womb itself - especially if ultrasound scan reveals that the fetus is female, elderly women in the household would go berserk. The expecting mother would be told to drink milk with saffron, eat fruits like papaya, oranges and green vegetables in order for the child to be born fair-skinned. Another tip is, one should avoid taking iron pills when pregnant because it will cause the children to be dark skinned. Oh, well.. Obsession does make one do preposterous things. 

For guys who are less educated, skin color may outcast other criterion but, guys with higher education, they are slightly different as in they can see that it's better to have a wife with brains than just fair skin but such guys are anything but a dime a dozen.

Anjali is not looking for a perfect guy but an intellectually compatible one.

But, it's not easy to explain this to a bunch of old schools who think intellectual compatibility is talk for 5 minutes, like each other then get married.

Dusky skinned Indian women always have other Indian ladies teaching them fashion and it is only aimed at one thing - to make the girl look as fair as possible by color tone, instead of dressing up the sultry, sexy dark woman, they try to make her fairer because in their skewed perception, only fair is beautiful. These kinds of suggestions always succeed in making dark Indian women feel inferior - feeling like being dark is an irreversible curse. 

Is it any wonder why beauty products that swear that they can change dark skin into fair skin within 2 weeks sell so well in this part of the world?

Dark skinned Indian women have difficulties to be noticed. They have to constantly prove their self worth to gain a position or to get people to notice them. 

They get sidelined and not given opportunities despite having talent and elan.

Ironically, dark guys are spared from such discount - only girls have to be fair, the same rule does not apply for guys.

Discrimination based on skin color is cruel.

No girl deserves such mistreatment. Dark or fair, inside, we are all the same - we have delicate emotions and having it poked and prodded by insulting words is not fair and is remotely beautiful. Is there any whitening cream to lighten such dark hearts? Ponder on it.
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