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Indian women are becoming more and more educated and successful, some, even beating Indian men in the climbing of the corporate ladder and also contributing to the 'lady boss' phenomena.
Independent, confident and empowered Indian working women are focused on the acquisition of a house, a car and to be financially stable before thinking about marriage and the problem with marriage begins at this point.
For an Indian woman to have a healthy bank balance that extends to necessitated possessions like property and vehicle, she will have to work for at least 5 years to at least have a decently filled billfold. Assuming a woman starts working at the age of 21 - 23, by the time she is well prepared for marriage, she'll be at the age of 26 - 30.
And, in Indian society, a 30 and above aged unmarried woman is considered a spinster and left on the shelf and the pressure from relatives and community for her to get married is tremendously enormous.
And so the woman is shoved to have her family to look for a potential husband for her in the context of arranged marriage and given her less desirable age, she is told, coaxed or even coerced to settle for a half past timer man, never mind the non-compatibility.
Indian ladies of today are highly educated and have soaring careers and the scenario pinpointed in the paragraph above comes at a great disadvantage for the ladies.
Marriage brokers or potential groom families themselves deceive or cook up stories to project themselves as to-die-for husband material. Worsening this situation is relatives who back up such lies, thinking they are doing a favor to the unmarried girl, when what they are actually doing is paving way for a miserable life or divorce for that girl. The relatives would attend the wedding, eat until they cannot eat anymore, go home and forget about the wedding while the lady suffers for a lifetime.
There is an Indian saying that goes,"You can tell 1,000 lies for a marriage to take place" and if I find the one who coined this phrase, I'd sling his balls (I am convinced that the founder of this phrase is male).
The bride to be and her family should get proactive and do some sleuthing work about the groom and find out about him and his family as much as they could - trace his and his family's background, his work track, whether he is embroiled in any burdening debt, his character, etc -- never taking any proposal at face value.
And, of course there is love. Indian women and men are free to choose their soulmate on their own, except that it is not as easy as expected.
Couples in love don't always get 'and they lived happily ever after' climax nowadays. Cheating, double game, suspicion, jealousy, mistrust and even petty stuff like forgetting birthdays and anniversaries not only break a relationship but also break faith in love outside matrimony itself, especially for ladies.
During courtship, both man and woman in a romantic relationship will only display their best, hiding their less than perfect attributes and conduct. After marriage, all of the unfavorable, displeasing habits would hit both husband and wife like a ton of elephant manure. Imperfections like leaving the toilet seat up, squeezing toothpaste tube from the middle, the cooking of the wife not being in parallel with the husband's mother's cooking and other faults, will leave both man and wife in gross distaste which affects the marriage as a whole.
Both neo and yuppie Indian women and men who are in a relationship don't want to burden their parents by having them paying for the wedding expenses, them having enough means of resources to pay for their wedding. The inequality of money being shared to conduct the wedding can also be a problem that might disenchant both parties and turn the marriage acerbic at the wedding itself
Then there are restrictions imposed by the husband on his working wife - forbidding her to give money to her parents, demanding her to hand her whole salary to him or his mother, disallowing her to visit her parents or even abuse her both physically and mentally will of course impinge and affect the marriage adversely, be it love marriage or arranged marriage.
And then, there is the Indian joint family system where brothers of a family living under the same roof with their parents, respective wives and kids. In such a backdrop, if a lady's husband helps out monetary wise when his elder brother's son who got himself piss drunk and met with an accident, it would upset the lady in the context of her husband providing finance for a could have been averted incidence as well as the boy's irresponsibility. Her husband is a family man himself and how would he provide for his own offspring when his saved up money is used to pay up the medical bills of his reckless brother's son? Definitely his wife has the grievance that monkey in the forest is fed while the child at home is left starving.
Small misunderstandings will lead to free for all and the educated, working Indian woman would feel choked by these circumstances and will find a way out - either by moving separately or file for divorce. It is not brazenness, it is the hallmark of independence, the escape from a caging marriage that limits and suppresses her opinions, liberation and mostly her voice and ability.
It is better to stay unmarried than being married to the wrong man or a good for nothing man. For many educated Indian women, love and marriage find them late. It is absolutely warranted to be choosy when finding a husband because they have one life but many shots at it. While having many shots at marriage or relationship, divorced Indian women 'enjoy' a jaundiced view from the Indian society, remarriages, even more so. It is not easy to be a successful Indian career woman.
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