VIRGINITY - A QUESTION ON GIRLS' MORALITY

11.12.13.

“Are you pure?” asked the guy who came to see Seema for marriage. “Pure????” Seema couldn’t get the gist his question.“Pure as in untouched?” he clarified. Seema now understood what he wanted to ask. “What are you looking for? A girl to marry or ghee?” she replied, agitated by such a question. He was shocked at such a reply, but before he could say anything. Seema continued, “Well you can say if there was an exam about ‘purity’ I wouldn’t top it!” His family left. 

The next day he rang up Seema’s dad and told him that he cannot marry Seema as she is a girl with low morals. Bang on! Welcome to the progressive India where we claim to be modern people but still make virginity a base to check a girl’s morals or her capability to become a good wife. 

Today when we claim that women have an equal status in the society with that of men, we still are under the orthodox views of using a white bed sheet on the first night of marriage just to check the bride’s virginity!!! The guy may himself have slept with number of girls but he wants a “pure”, “untouched” girl as a wife. Why?

Answer - it is just to satisfy his male ego that the girl he is going to spend his life with has been and will be only his“possession" as well as his performance anxiety; he does not want an 'experienced' wife. If today a girl loses her virginity with a guy she loves truly but the guy turns out to be a cheat then she is tagged as a “slut”, “characterless girl." MIND YOU these being the most decent words I can pen down ,else there are a million more worse words in our mother tongues' vocabulary. 

I ask what is the mistake of the girl? She loved a guy? She slept with someone she thought she would marry? Or, she now has lost her purity which would satisfy her to-be husband’s male ego and make him believe that she is fit to be his wife! And, again no answers I could come up with! 

I completely support the fact that we Indians should not give up on our morals and accept everything that westernization extends to us but I wonder how can a biological wall in the girl’s body by breaking decide the level of her morals? 

I mean Seema could have been a great wife; she was marrying the guy her parents chose - maybe she had a bad past. But all that were not a matter to weigh and consider at all - all that matters is whether she is 'pure' in the aforementioned lexicon.

And I am forced to wonder that what would happen to those rape victims?Who would marry those girls? 

More often than not, a girl from a sports background,has always been told by those orthodox distant relatives to quit it. Why? It is because physical exertion may result in the breakage of the “moral wall."

Yes, I am also a girl, an Indian girl, who values her morals, for whom her dignity is priceless, who has always dreamed of her Prince Charming coming to sweep her off my feet and who has always planned her wedding dress! But, I am also a girl who belongs to the globalized world, interacts with the opposite sex, loves, has break ups, overcomes them and smiles again and no one has a right to tag me any thing for that reason! 

I just request Indian guys out there that the next time you go looking for a girl for marriage, search for a true heart and not something like “pure ghee”, because she ‘s gonna be your life partner, not your meal to satisfy your hunger of ego. 

When you look at a beautiful girl coming dressed in a red wedding sari, leaving her parents, siblings, pet dog, friends, the comforts of her own room and basically the world as she knows it behind, to become a part of your family, to share a bedroom with you and ultimately share her life, her whole life ahead of her with you, accept her, make her life a bed of roses rather than testing her loyalty by making her lay down on a bed with white bed sheet because true love will make your marriage successful - her “purity” won’t.

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