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Let's face it - girls, especially Indian girls are shy-shy blush-blush when discussing about periods to their male counterpart.
We have no problem in announcing publicly that their daughter has gotten her first period - throwing a feast to 'celebrate the event', complete with invitation cards!
But then mothers forbid their daughters from telling their fathers or brothers that they are having their periods - it is a taboo.
Indian logic.
I believe that I'm very bold, broaching a subject steeped in hypersensitivity. Menstruating Hindu women are deemed 'dirty' and they are not allowed to pray, go to the prayers altar in the house and temples.
But, we pray to goddesses - and see how some of us treat women.
Perhaps the only time menstruation is discussed openly is in high school, in the Science subject, in the chapter Reproduction and the Physical Education syllabus which discloses the bodily changes of both boys and girls when they hit puberty – things would change, we were told in a serious voice; hair would grow in new places, breasts would sprout and the intimate part would bleed each month followed by discomfort for girls, shoulders would broaden, facial hair would debut and voice would break for boys.
And, these chapters are dreaded by teachers and they try to finish up with it as fast as they can and it is equally awkward to the students who are experiencing and going through the stuff that are being taught to them.
I went to an all girls school and it was pretty awkward when we came to the chapter Reproduction because my Science teacher was male! He literally blushed when he explained the details and went about it in the speed of a bullet train - but, we, girls, were in the know because in the first year of starting high school, we were briefed on periods and puberty and how to deal with it but we were dependent on our Science teacher for a deeper understanding of the works.
I bet this chapter of Reproduction would leave those teachers and students in all boys and coed high schools having butter fingers! Especially in coed schools - you know what I mean.
Once a girl starts menstruating, she is told not to be as close as she was with her male siblings - a distance should be maintained.
Here's a confession from a woman like me:
"My brother who is five years younger to me, has always been my best friend, my greatest enemy and also my biggest confidante. Like every other sibling duo, we also had those fierce fights which ended in either me scratching him with my long nails or in him gaining the pleasure of pulling my hair and us screaming and chasing each other in the house and pulling pranks off at each other, indulging in boisterous camaraderie.
Then I got my first period and things changed - I was told that whatever was happening to me during those five days was supposed to be a secret and should to be discussed only with my mother. Of course I was delighted that at least both mom and I had a secret to share, but on the other hand, I longed to share the same with my brother. I wanted to tell him about how my body was changing every day, why I was experiencing mood swings, why I was skipping school due to abdominal cramps and why I was taking longer than usual in the washrooms these days.
Like other girls my age,even I kept quiet because that was what was expected out of me. Today however, I consider myself as an equal culprit along with those who brainwashed the innocent mind of my brother with made-up stories about sanitary napkins. It was as if we were assigned a task of unleashing our creative prowess in describing the details of a sanitary napkin to a young boy by employing euphemism.
Diapers, cotton balls to heal an open wound, every explanation was given to satiate the never ending questions of an inquisitive boy like my brother but menstruating women are not wounded each month by some invisible, unpredictable 'accident'. What a flawed theory! I guess the napkin also wondered when it actually served so many roles! An invisible cloud of shame engulfed me as a result of which I could never speak to my brother about this subject. I couldn’t tell him the truth – that menstruation was nothing but a biological process that took place in every woman’s body that is as natural as sweating. I couldn’t, in the first place, tell him that as a result of our mother menstruating,we were in fact brought into this world.
I just hope that someday, I would be able to open up to my only younger brother so that he needn't to hesitate to speak about menstruation with any other woman in his life."
Just in case the brother becomes a high school Science teacher in an all girls school, I hope he won't blush and go through the chapter Reproduction in the speed of the Road Runner and go beep, beep at crucial parts.
Below is an Indian ad that tried to break the shackles of the taboo surrounding menstruation, that you can't tell your brother that you are having your periods.
I recently let off this issue off my chest in Facebook and I had unknown girls messaging me and sending me friend requests questioning me how can I be so shameless, talking about periods on a public platform and they chastised me and called me condescending names. One girl blocked me after telling me what she thought of me - it was pretty ugly, believe me.
While that was the case of girls, guys appreciated me for being open and forthright and thanked me! This was a response that I didn't see coming my way - I was expecting girls to back me up but that didn't happen and I think I now understand why. It is all about mentality. Just treat the knowledge about menstruation as general knowledge. What's the big deal? We can be feminists and demand equal rights and then be shy to talk about periods? That is not wholesome, is it? That is like not acknowledging our identity as all round capable females! I also realized that we have a long way to go but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We have no problem in announcing publicly that their daughter has gotten her first period - throwing a feast to 'celebrate the event', complete with invitation cards!
But then mothers forbid their daughters from telling their fathers or brothers that they are having their periods - it is a taboo.
Indian logic.
I believe that I'm very bold, broaching a subject steeped in hypersensitivity. Menstruating Hindu women are deemed 'dirty' and they are not allowed to pray, go to the prayers altar in the house and temples.
But, we pray to goddesses - and see how some of us treat women.
Perhaps the only time menstruation is discussed openly is in high school, in the Science subject, in the chapter Reproduction and the Physical Education syllabus which discloses the bodily changes of both boys and girls when they hit puberty – things would change, we were told in a serious voice; hair would grow in new places, breasts would sprout and the intimate part would bleed each month followed by discomfort for girls, shoulders would broaden, facial hair would debut and voice would break for boys.
And, these chapters are dreaded by teachers and they try to finish up with it as fast as they can and it is equally awkward to the students who are experiencing and going through the stuff that are being taught to them.
I went to an all girls school and it was pretty awkward when we came to the chapter Reproduction because my Science teacher was male! He literally blushed when he explained the details and went about it in the speed of a bullet train - but, we, girls, were in the know because in the first year of starting high school, we were briefed on periods and puberty and how to deal with it but we were dependent on our Science teacher for a deeper understanding of the works.
I bet this chapter of Reproduction would leave those teachers and students in all boys and coed high schools having butter fingers! Especially in coed schools - you know what I mean.
Once a girl starts menstruating, she is told not to be as close as she was with her male siblings - a distance should be maintained.
Here's a confession from a woman like me:
"My brother who is five years younger to me, has always been my best friend, my greatest enemy and also my biggest confidante. Like every other sibling duo, we also had those fierce fights which ended in either me scratching him with my long nails or in him gaining the pleasure of pulling my hair and us screaming and chasing each other in the house and pulling pranks off at each other, indulging in boisterous camaraderie.
Then I got my first period and things changed - I was told that whatever was happening to me during those five days was supposed to be a secret and should to be discussed only with my mother. Of course I was delighted that at least both mom and I had a secret to share, but on the other hand, I longed to share the same with my brother. I wanted to tell him about how my body was changing every day, why I was experiencing mood swings, why I was skipping school due to abdominal cramps and why I was taking longer than usual in the washrooms these days.
Diapers, cotton balls to heal an open wound, every explanation was given to satiate the never ending questions of an inquisitive boy like my brother but menstruating women are not wounded each month by some invisible, unpredictable 'accident'. What a flawed theory! I guess the napkin also wondered when it actually served so many roles! An invisible cloud of shame engulfed me as a result of which I could never speak to my brother about this subject. I couldn’t tell him the truth – that menstruation was nothing but a biological process that took place in every woman’s body that is as natural as sweating. I couldn’t, in the first place, tell him that as a result of our mother menstruating,we were in fact brought into this world.
I just hope that someday, I would be able to open up to my only younger brother so that he needn't to hesitate to speak about menstruation with any other woman in his life."
Just in case the brother becomes a high school Science teacher in an all girls school, I hope he won't blush and go through the chapter Reproduction in the speed of the Road Runner and go beep, beep at crucial parts.
Below is an Indian ad that tried to break the shackles of the taboo surrounding menstruation, that you can't tell your brother that you are having your periods.
I recently let off this issue off my chest in Facebook and I had unknown girls messaging me and sending me friend requests questioning me how can I be so shameless, talking about periods on a public platform and they chastised me and called me condescending names. One girl blocked me after telling me what she thought of me - it was pretty ugly, believe me.
While that was the case of girls, guys appreciated me for being open and forthright and thanked me! This was a response that I didn't see coming my way - I was expecting girls to back me up but that didn't happen and I think I now understand why. It is all about mentality. Just treat the knowledge about menstruation as general knowledge. What's the big deal? We can be feminists and demand equal rights and then be shy to talk about periods? That is not wholesome, is it? That is like not acknowledging our identity as all round capable females! I also realized that we have a long way to go but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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