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The Indian society is steeped in double standards when it comes to gender equality and it is most evident in households and in young men and women as well as the elderly, who conform to and conduct this gender bias.
In a typical Indian household, the daughters are told not to be as bold and outspoken like boys while the sons are told to suppress emotions and not to cry like girls. That is the point where gender inequality begins -- girls who are bold and guys who cry are met with grave disapproval. If a girl is bold, then she is shameless and a hoyden and if a boy succumbs to emotion fairly easily, he is branded as a sissy.
You might have heard and even said such dialogues below:
"Why do you take so long to bathe? You bathe longer than a girl."
"It's just a small graze. Don't cry like a girl."
"You speak too much. If you keep being outspoken, your husband will divorce you."
"Let your fathers and brothers eat first. They are the men of the family and should be respected by giving them the privilege to eat first. We, women, must only eat after they are done eating."
Daughters are expected to wait their brothers, father or any male members of the family hand and foot -- from serving food on their plates, retrieving and washing their dirty plates when they are done eating and clean up after their mess and any chore or order in between.
Real gender equality means that a boy should be able to fetch his father a glass of water or serve visiting guests refreshments with equal ease as a girl is expected to do.
This system also lets guys off the hook in orgies while girls are rebuked.
If an Indian girl smokes or drinks and goes clubbing, she is a bitch and is definitely not from a good family and not wife material but certainly bang-then-leave material.
If an Indian guy smokes, drinks and goes clubbing, what's the big deal? It's perfectly normal.
Why when an Indian girl drinks, smokes and clubs, she gets branded as a bitch and when an Indian guy does the same, it hardly evokes a raised eyebrow? It is the result of a skewed upbringing and societal norms which sees the female gender be submissive and one that can be blamed and judged for everything on and the male gender be oppressive and one that just doesn't take blame for virtually everything.
I am not saying that girls should start drinking and smoking to stand shoulder to shoulder with guys in the name of equality -- neither I am encouraging girls to smoke and drink.
Drinking and smoking are harmful for health, immaterial of gender. Before an Indian guy who drinks and smokes hurl invective towards drinking, smoking and clubbing Indian girls or advice them to drop the habits, he should look at the dirt on his own back before he pinpoints the dirt on others' back.
Lung and liver cancer due to one puff too many and one gulp too many of cigarettes and booze doesn't choose gender. Drinking and smoking is bad for both sexes and indulgence in them does not determine an Indian girl's worth and character.
Virginity in girls is a big deal in the Indian society -- an Indian girl is expected to stay 'pure' and 'untouched' up till her marriage. The same is not true for Indian guys -- they can have one night stands all over the place and still walk with their head held up high while a girl who believed that her boyfriend would marry her and consents to sex on the belief and eventually her boyfriend dumped her is considered a slut and not marrying material while her ex goes around, screwing other girls and then marry one timid, angelic, soft and most importantly, virgin girl.
It takes two to tango -- it takes two, a male and a female to have sex and it is grossly unfair to pile scruple only on the girl while the guy gets scot free. Some claim that males have no virginity issues because unlike girls, they don't have a freaking membrane in between their legs and that guys can detect whether a girl is virgin or not. FYI, that freaking membrane can break while doing vigorous activities or stretched when tampons are used.
Again, I am not supporting free sex culture where girls can sleep around and guys must be cool about it. All I'm saying is that a woman's character and worth does not lie in between her legs -- they lie in her capacity and capability to contribute something useful to society.
If premarital sex is wrong then both guys and girls must be blamed; if it is permissible then both the guy and girl should be left off the hook. Sleeping around, drinking, smoking and clubbing do not make both guys and girls modern.
Being modern is having a paradigm shift and mentality change that can be characterized by mutual respect and recognition for opposite genders, the notion that it is good if a girl is bold and if a guy shows emotion publicly, it is perfectly alright, the sharing of both traditional male and female roles, duties and chores and for Indian guys and Indian girls being responsible and sentient of their every conduct and deed.
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