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My first sexual assaulter was my dad's best friend. He'd come over to our place and when there was no one around, he'd smooch me and pinch my barely there nipples - I was seven.
This was going on for several weeks and I consciously hated it. In all innocence, one day I told my dad what his best friend was doing to me. Unlike most cases where parents would be in denial when their kid tells them that an uncle like to play 'games' which is uncomfortable for the kids, my dad believed me and told his bestie to not come to his house and near his daughter ever again.
At 10 years old, a heavily bearded stranger molested me in the school toilet. I had staybacked in school for netball practice and when I went to the washroom to change into my sports attire, my modesty was outraged. I remembered that I could trust my dad on this and walked up to him with my case. My dad apologized for not being there to protect me and hugged me and said that he was sorry that I had to endure such a horrible experience.
My dad was a doctor and I loved talking to him. He was such a knowledgeable man and he made me so comfortable that we could talk about sex and periods with the same ease as cancer and AIDS.
And then I was gang raped by 4 guys who were school dropouts and drug addicts when I was 15. And, my dad was instrumental in me overcoming the trauma of rape.
My dad protected me from the initial media's frenzied attention. After all the court proceedings, endless interrogations and trials as well as my hospitalization, I healed, both physically and mentally with my daddy dearest being with me every step of the way.
I went back to school and my dad talked to each of my teachers and classmates; he didn't try to conceal the fact that I was raped. Instead he told everyone how proud he is to have such a strong daughter.
At night, when I woke up screaming due to post traumatic stress and flashbacks of the savage rape, my dad was the one who comforted me; he rocked me to sleep while I lay on his chest.
My dad encouraged me to reach the greatest heights possible; he drilled the can do attitude in me and I graduated with honors. And on convocation day, there was no one who was more swollen with pride than my parents. My mom was absolutely devastated when her only daughter was raped and my dad was her rock too - he made my mom heal along with me as he hid his pain for the sake of the two women he loved most. I have seen my dad cry in recluse and I realized that real men cry. My father was a real man.
If it wasn't for my dad, I would have hated all men. Eventually, I met a man who loves me so much, he doesn't care of my dark past and I married him. My dad gave his daughter's hand to another man who promised to take her of her like a princess. And, I gave my dad twin granddaughters and he was the happiest man in the world besides my husband.
My dad is no more now. Why I wrote this is to convey a message to all parents - trust your kids when they tell you that there is something fishy that an adult you know and trust do to them. Kids never lie and you believing them or not makes or breaks their entire life.
I consider myself lucky. Thanks dad, I love you and I can never thank you enough.
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