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When I was growing up, my mother fully applied the adage, 'spare the rod and spoil the child.'
I wasn't a particularly mischievous child and was not bad at studies either. Despite me being the youngest daughter for my parents, my mom, didn't mollycoddle me. Instead she whacked the daylights out of me when I was careless at chores or made mistakes in my homework. The flogging continued until I was 14; by that time I was brave enough to talk back to my mother and tell her that I was not a child anymore and that I know what I'm doing.
My dad never raised his voice at me let alone spank me; but, he never stopped my mom from punishing me physically. He would just keep mum and comfort me when I run to him after receiving several lashes from the lady who birthed me. My dad would console me but he never ever mentioned that my mom is wrong by beating his brood and naturally never questioned his wife's violent paroxysms.
Now, I realize that by clobbering me, my mom had sculpted me into being a perfectionist and I am eternally grateful to her now and now my mom is my bestie - we talk about everything under the sun and I teach her a thing or two as well. All is well. PEACE.
The above was back in a over a decade or so. In this age of information, spanking kids over monkey business or non-satisfactory performance in school backfires. Threat your child with a cane in hand and he or she would threaten you back with a phone in hand, fingers poised to dial the Child's Aid's number.
Answering the question on why parents beat their kids, it is because they want to 'correct' their kids by inflicting physical pain so that they would remember the pain and refrain from repeating the same wrongdoings.
But, kids, especially those below 10 forget the pain and rebuke meted on them after they do something that is deemed unsavory. If they remember the pain and refuse to do something out of fear of being beaten, they won't explore their world, learn and discover anything - kids are programmed in such a way and nothing parents can do to reverse it.
Parents should know when to be a friend and when to be a parent for their children. There is no one standard formula as to how to raise children because every child is an individual who is wired differently.
Nowadays is not like those days - our grandparents had a dozen or so children and individual attention was very limited. These days. the maximum number of children a married couple produces is four and individual attention is not only paramount but crucial due to globalization and the advent of Internet and online social networks. Parents cannot afford to beat their children to discipline them in this information age.
Instead of beating, a soft-spoken approach should be applied - when your child does something wrong, explain to him or her on how the deed would affect him or her as well as others. Kids respond well to the oxymoronic loving reprimand, not cane.
Avoid scolding or beating your child in the presence of others - there is no other 'effective' way than that to kill your child's self esteem and give rise to his or her inferiority complex.
Tell your children that you trust them every single day. It would get ingrained in their subconscious mind and they will consciously be good, meet your highest expectations and never misuse the trust you tell them you have for them.
Lead by example - there is no use when a father hits his son for smoking and consuming alcohol when the father himself is a chain smoker and an alcoholic. The same goes to mothers who beat their kids for low grades in school when she watches Desperate Housewives on the telly while telling her children to study.
Do not compare your children with their better faring friends or neighbors or relatives and hit them for not topping the class. What if he or she compares you to their friends' parents who are doctors and millionaires while you are a supervisor in a manufacturing company? Each kid has his own unique aptitude; no one is a Jack of all trades and a Jack of all trade is a master of none.
Don't beat your kids; the practice belongs to the ages gone by.
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