I'M A DARK SKINNED INDIAN GIRL, PROBLEM?

1 December 2013

Skin color is a big deal for Indians, well at least for some Indians, with fair skin being coveted and dark skin being less desirable. And, this is especially true for Indian girls.

Just look at Indian matrimony ads; among the academic and career credentials of a potential bride, it includes skin color - fair skin is preferred.

I wonder if they are looking for a wife or a heroine to make a movie in Indian cinema.

The Indian cinema contributes a great deal to this scenario - while there are dark skinned leading actors (although fair skinned actors outnumber dark ones) there are only a handful of dark skinned Indian actresses and many Indian actresses bleached their skin in order to appear more 'appealing.' One can gauge how much this obsession with skin color runs deep by the passing off of a white British actress Amy Jackson as an Indian in the Hindi movie, 'Ek Deewana Tha.'

A friend of mine, who is dark skinned told me about the bias and mistreatment she underwent within her family due to her complexion and her story is similar to many dark skinned Indian girls out there.

For her cousin's wedding, dusky Anjali's (not her real name) aunt picked her younger sister who is fairer than her as the bride's maid and this continued for all her cousins' weddings. They never asked Anjali to be bride's maid although she is the elder one. Anjali's cousins on her mother's side are all fair and they practice a subtle discrimination against her - noticing her complexion becoming lighter and asking her about it, then comment that she had been staying indoors, no wonder she looks better. 

Then, there is this negative perception that Anjali is lazy and that she doesn't do household chores. Relatives go to the extent of pointing out any small mistakes that Anjali makes, nitpicking. But, this was never a problem with her fair skinned sister; no one says anything even if she doesn't do a thing.

Anjali's grandma actually recommended Anjali's younger sister when someone was looking for a bride in an arranged marriage. Anjali's grandma totally skipped her despite the fact that she is more accomplished than her sister and the fact that she is elder than her sister.

Marriage is evasive for Anjali, arranged marriage, that is. Relatives always tell her to settle for a 'less-than-perfect-man on the tacit understanding of her deemed less-than-perfect skin color. 

Relatives come up with -they know this guy and that, then describe these guys physically. One of Anjali's aunt actually remarked - you should not judge a guy based on physical looks. Instead see if he is capable of keeping you happy. It is not the case for girls, looks are judged sometimes above everything else.

It can be said that guys are not so particular about skin colors. But, the ladies in the family - be it the guy's or girl's who are the ones emphasizing on the skin color of the bride.

Often, either the broker/middle person disqualifies potential brides based on skin color or the family of the guy seeks for a fair skinned lady. The skin color of the guy is never an issue, the phrase, tall, dark and handsome, holding the notion up. 

Some dark skinned Indian guys justify their search for a fair bride is to have fair children; since they are dark, they want their offspring to be of a more favorable color. Biology fails here. 

The preparation for having fair skin begins in the womb itself - especially if ultrasound scan reveals that the fetus is female, elderly women in the household would go berserk. The expecting mother would be told to drink milk with saffron, eat fruits like papaya, oranges and green vegetables in order for the child to be born fair-skinned. Another tip is, one should avoid taking iron pills when pregnant because it will cause the children to be dark skinned. Oh, well.. Obsession does make one do preposterous things. 

For guys who are less educated, skin color may outcast other criterion but, guys with higher education, they are slightly different as in they can see that it's better to have a wife with brains than just fair skin but such guys are anything but a dime a dozen.

Anjali is not looking for a perfect guy but an intellectually compatible one.

But, it's not easy to explain this to a bunch of old schools who think intellectual compatibility is talk for 5 minutes, like each other then get married.

Dusky skinned Indian women always have other Indian ladies teaching them fashion and it is only aimed at one thing - to make the girl look as fair as possible by color tone, instead of dressing up the sultry, sexy dark woman, they try to make her fairer because in their skewed perception, only fair is beautiful. These kinds of suggestions always succeed in making dark Indian women feel inferior - feeling like being dark is an irreversible curse. 

Is it any wonder why beauty products that swear that they can change dark skin into fair skin within 2 weeks sell so well in this part of the world?

Dark skinned Indian women have difficulties to be noticed. They have to constantly prove their self worth to gain a position or to get people to notice them. 

They get sidelined and not given opportunities despite having talent and elan.

Ironically, dark guys are spared from such discount - only girls have to be fair, the same rule does not apply for guys.

Discrimination based on skin color is cruel.

No girl deserves such mistreatment. Dark or fair, inside, we are all the same - we have delicate emotions and having it poked and prodded by insulting words is not fair and is remotely beautiful. Is there any whitening cream to lighten such dark hearts? Ponder on it.

Read More

NEO INDIAN WOMEN AND MARRIAGE

Indian women are becoming more and more educated and successful, some, even beating Indian men in the climbing of the corporate ladder and also contributing to the 'lady boss' phenomena.

Independent, confident and empowered Indian working women are focused on the acquisition of a house, a car and to be financially stable before thinking about marriage and the problem with marriage begins at this point.

For an Indian woman to have a healthy bank balance that extends to necessitated possessions like property and vehicle, she will have to work for at least 5 years to at least have a decently filled billfold. Assuming a woman starts working at the age of 21 - 23, by the time she is well prepared for marriage, she'll be at the age of 26 - 30.

And, in Indian society, a 30 and above aged unmarried woman is considered a spinster and left on the shelf and the pressure from relatives and community for her to get married is tremendously enormous.

And so the woman is shoved to have her family to look for a potential husband for her in the context of arranged marriage and given her less desirable age, she is told, coaxed or even coerced to settle for a half past timer man, never mind the non-compatibility.

Indian ladies of today are highly educated and have soaring careers and the scenario pinpointed in the paragraph above comes at a great disadvantage for the ladies.

Marriage brokers or potential groom families themselves deceive or cook up stories to project themselves as to-die-for husband material. Worsening this situation is relatives who back up such lies, thinking they are doing a favor to the unmarried girl, when what they are actually doing is paving way for a miserable life or divorce for that girl. The relatives would attend the wedding, eat until they cannot eat anymore, go home and forget about the wedding while the lady suffers for a lifetime.

There is an Indian saying that goes,"You can tell 1,000 lies for a marriage to take place" and if I find the one who coined this phrase, I'd sling his balls (I am convinced that the founder of this phrase is male).

The bride to be and her family should get proactive and do some sleuthing work about the groom and find out about him and his family as much as they could - trace his and his family's background, his work track, whether he is embroiled in any burdening debt, his character, etc -- never taking any proposal at face value.

And, of course there is love. Indian women and men are free to choose their soulmate on their own, except that it is not as easy as expected.

Couples in love don't always get 'and they lived happily ever after' climax nowadays. Cheating, double game, suspicion, jealousy, mistrust and even petty stuff like forgetting birthdays and anniversaries not only break a relationship but also break faith in love outside matrimony itself, especially for ladies.

During courtship, both man and woman in a romantic relationship will only display their best, hiding their less than perfect attributes and conduct. After marriage, all of the unfavorable, displeasing habits would hit both husband and wife like a ton of elephant manure. Imperfections like leaving the toilet seat up, squeezing toothpaste tube from the middle, the cooking of the wife not being in parallel with the husband's mother's cooking and other faults, will leave both man and wife in gross distaste which affects the marriage as a whole.

Both neo and yuppie Indian women and men who are in a relationship don't want to burden their parents by having them paying for the wedding expenses, them having enough means of resources to pay for their wedding. The inequality of money being shared to conduct the wedding can also be a problem that might disenchant both parties and turn the marriage acerbic at the wedding itself

Then there are restrictions imposed by the husband on his working wife - forbidding her to give money to her parents, demanding her to hand her whole salary to him or his mother, disallowing her to visit her parents or even abuse her both physically and mentally will of course impinge and affect the marriage adversely, be it love marriage or arranged marriage.

And then, there is the Indian joint family system where brothers of a family living under the same roof with their parents, respective wives and kids. In such a backdrop, if a lady's husband helps out monetary wise when his elder brother's son who got himself piss drunk and met with an accident, it would upset the lady in the context of her husband providing finance for a could have been averted incidence as well as the boy's irresponsibility. Her husband is a family man himself and how would he provide for his own offspring when his saved up money is used to pay up the medical bills of his reckless brother's son? Definitely his wife has the grievance that monkey in the forest is fed while the child at home is left starving.

Small misunderstandings will lead to free for all and the educated, working Indian woman would feel choked by these circumstances and will find a way out - either by moving separately or file for divorce. It is not brazenness, it is the hallmark of independence, the escape from a caging marriage that limits and suppresses her opinions, liberation and mostly her voice and ability.

It is better to stay unmarried than being married to the wrong man or a good for nothing man. For many educated Indian women, love and marriage find them late. It is absolutely warranted to be choosy when finding a husband because they have one life but many shots at it. While having many shots at marriage or relationship, divorced Indian women 'enjoy' a jaundiced view from the Indian society, remarriages, even more so. It is not easy to be a successful Indian career woman. 

Read More

THE VALUE OF EDUCATION

Kids in one part of the world fight and struggle just to go to school; other kids in other parts in the world act otherwise; they fight and struggle as to not to go to school.

Malala Yousafzai would make the epitome of the former sentence and Victoria Thompson is the epitome of the latter sentence.

Malala was shot in the head when she was 14 by the Pakistani Taliban for being outspoken about how important schooling is while Victoria's dream was to drop out of school and have a baby at 15.

Some kids who have it all -- loving parents who fulfill their every demand, good food, techie gadgets, video games, television, laptops, Internet and other luxuries, simply balk from studying, deeming it boring.

Parents send their kids to tuition, buy them revision books and promise rewards if they do well in school. And, most of the time, the 'covenant of reward' is what motivates such children to pick their book up and study.

One case of study:

X is twelve. In his home, the TV would be switched on close to 18 hours and when he is told to study, he cries; the multiplication table is just too much for him and photosynthesis and the food chain doesn't seem to be worth understanding for him.

For underprivileged kids, their deprivation is what that motivates them to study; they study for the sake of acquiring an education, which is a reward that they give themselves.

One case of study:

Y is fourteen and she defied her parents when they wanted to barter her into a marriage to a much older man, threatening that she would go to the police if she was forced. She never misses a day for school and aspires to go to college and support her family in the future.

Education is a reward you give yourself and it is the best gift you can ever give yourself -- it stands the test of time, it will be yours for your lifetime, you can accumulate it, add value to it and nobody can take it from you.

One will only realize the value of something if it is taken away or not accessible for them.

Some kids don't realize how lucky they are.

Read More

HOW SMALL CHANGES CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE

People with special needs are perhaps the most sidelined people in society -- their existence and roles in a community mostly go unrecognized.

It is very tough for people on wheelchair to go to places due to limited facilities or the non existence of infrastructure and when I say infrastructure, I don't mean costly, fancy and lavish amenities.

Yes, toilets and parking lots that are reserved for the disabled are in manifestation but it is earthly anything but omnipresent. 

Besides toilets and parking lots, the change that will change the lives of people with special needs are ramps and elevators. 

Instead of stairs at the shop lots' corridors, ramps with a low slant will make places accessible for wheelchair users. This of course gives wheelchair users a high degree of dependence, confidence as the ramps facilitate their movements.

In my city, very few places have ramps and elevators and other places are like off-limits for people on wheelchairs. 

While an eminent and posh shopping mall in my area has elevators, the food court and the GSC cinema theater are inaccessible for wheelchair bound people -- there are no ramps leading to the food court and the only way to get to the theater housed in the mall is by escalator. Are disabled people in my city or anywhere in the world second class citizens who don't deserve to watch movies on the big screen and have the joy of eating out when shopping?

I have seen people on wheelchairs being carried while still being in their wheelchair; it must truly be demotivating, having others helping you just to get to a place that is so near yet so far due to obstacles like stairs and boulders.

A person of special needs deserves a life as good as an able bodied person and built in low degree ramps can make a whole lot of positive difference for them. It is inexpensive, requires minimal material and it will change lives.   

The welfare money provided by the Malaysian Welfare Department for people with disabilities is merely RM 300. It is pittance.

With price of goods and fuel skyrocketing, the money barely makes ends meet. The nation's budgets in recent and previous years have ignored the disabled wholly; no affirmative allocations to uplift the quality of the lives of people with disabilities were tabled.

Development is meaningless if there are units of society still suffering, their cries muffled by the buzz of advancement. The development of the people of a nation should be even -- then only the nation is completely developed.

Read More

PET PAMPERING: THE IRONY OF IT

Dogs are indeed man's best friend and having a pet, any pet at all, means having a living, breathing creature that is entirely dependent on you for its every need, every day of its lifetime.

The problem starts when the needs of pets are replaced by indulgences. 

While animal cruelty is one extreme, pampering pets with excess is another extreme.

Yes, you have a dog or cat and you love her with all your heart and you show your love to her by feeding her your food, which is unsuitable for her.

Your dog gives you a hopeful look while you eat your dinner and those soulful eyes melt you and you slip some scrumptious morsels of fried chicken, pizza, fritata or meatballs into her eagerly waiting mouth. And, it becomes a routine and before you know it, this food begging habit will render your beloved dog overweight.

I have experienced the above where you show your pet some lovin by feeding them crazy. I did it to my pet fighting fish and his belly burst and he died.

Then, I had a parakeet and he loved KFC and rice and I fed him all he could eat. One morning, my gorgeous parakeet literally dropped dead -- he had an heart attack in relation with his dietary habit.

Feed our pets with our food and they develop our diseases. Dogs are not built to eat pasta and drink coffee. Their dietary needs altogether differ from that of humans.

And then there is this insane obsession of decking pets with accessories, clothes, dyeing their fur and other ridiculous grooming.

Regular grooming is of course entailed for your pet dogs, especially long haired dogs. If such dogs are not groomed, their fur would become matted and it is painful for the dogs.

Your dog never demands diamonds, rubies and emeralds from you. All they need and want is some love and tender care from you. 

And, then there are grooming competitions that almost involves poodles being groomed beyond recognition, making them resemble other animals or psychedelic manifestations or uniformed units, making them stand still for hours just to satisfy your idea of fun. Will one do like this to their children? You claim that your pets are your babies so why do something to them that you won't on your own child?

You think your pet dog loves it when you make it look like a pony or a tiger or a freaking bison?  If your pink, bejeweled poodle could talk, it will say, "I look ridiculously unsightly." If you want a dog that looks like a male lion, you might as well adopt a lion.

You pamper your pets with excess and send your own parents to old folks home. Of course, you can love your pet dog with all your heart but do make some space in your heart and home for your mother who gave you a space in her womb for you to come into being and for your father who toiled to make you the successful person you are today.

Remember, overdoing anything at all is not healthy and neither it gives desirable end results.

Read More

INDIAN SOCIETY, "DON'T BE BOLD LIKE A BOY!" "DON"T CRY LIKE A GIRL!"

The Indian society is steeped in double standards when it comes to gender equality and it is most evident in households and in young men and women as well as the elderly, who conform to and conduct this gender bias.

In a typical Indian household, the daughters are told not to be as bold and outspoken like boys while the sons are told to suppress emotions and not to cry like girls. That is the point where gender inequality begins -- girls who are bold and guys who cry are met with grave disapproval. If a girl is bold, then she is shameless and a hoyden and if a boy succumbs to emotion fairly easily, he is branded as a sissy.

You might have heard and even said such dialogues below:

"Why do you take so long to bathe? You bathe longer than a girl."

"It's just a small graze. Don't cry like a girl."

"You speak too much. If you keep being outspoken, your husband will divorce you."

"Let your fathers and brothers eat first. They are the men of the family and should be respected by giving them the privilege to eat first. We, women, must only eat after they are done eating."

Daughters are expected to wait their brothers, father or any male members of the family hand and foot -- from serving food on their plates, retrieving and washing their dirty plates when they are done eating and clean up after their mess and any chore or order in between.

Real gender equality means that a boy should be able to fetch his father a glass of water or serve visiting guests refreshments with equal ease as a girl is expected to do.

This system also lets guys off the hook in orgies while girls are rebuked.

If an Indian girl smokes or drinks and goes clubbing, she is a bitch and is definitely not from a good family and not wife material but certainly bang-then-leave material.

If an Indian guy smokes, drinks and goes clubbing, what's the big deal? It's perfectly normal.

Why when an Indian girl drinks, smokes and clubs, she gets branded as a bitch and when an Indian guy does the same, it hardly evokes a raised eyebrow? It is the result of a skewed upbringing and societal norms which sees the female gender be submissive and one that can be blamed and judged for everything on and the male gender be oppressive and one that just doesn't take blame for virtually everything.

I am not saying that girls should start drinking and smoking to stand shoulder to shoulder with guys in the name of equality -- neither I am encouraging girls to smoke and drink.

Drinking and smoking are harmful for health, immaterial of gender. Before an Indian guy who drinks and smokes hurl invective towards drinking, smoking and clubbing Indian girls or advice them to drop the habits, he should look at the dirt on his own back before he pinpoints the dirt on others' back.

Lung and liver cancer due to one puff too many and one gulp too many of cigarettes and booze doesn't choose gender. Drinking and smoking is bad for both sexes and indulgence in them does not determine an Indian girl's worth and character.

Virginity in girls is a big deal in the Indian society -- an Indian girl is expected to stay 'pure' and 'untouched' up till her marriage. The same is not true for Indian guys -- they can have one night stands all over the place and still walk with their head held up high while a girl who believed that her boyfriend would marry her and consents to sex on the belief and eventually her boyfriend dumped her is considered a slut and not marrying material while her ex goes around, screwing other girls and then marry one timid, angelic, soft and most importantly, virgin girl.

It takes two to tango -- it takes two, a male and a female to have sex and it is grossly unfair to pile scruple only on the girl while the guy gets scot free. Some claim that males have no virginity issues because unlike girls, they don't have a freaking membrane in between their legs and that guys can detect whether a girl is virgin or not. FYI, that freaking membrane can break while doing vigorous activities or stretched when tampons are used. 

Again, I am not supporting free sex culture where girls can sleep around and guys must be cool about it. All I'm saying is that a woman's character and worth does not lie in between her legs -- they lie in her capacity and capability to contribute something useful to society.

If premarital sex is wrong then both guys and girls must be blamed; if it is permissible then both the guy and girl should be left off the hook. Sleeping around, drinking, smoking and clubbing do not make both guys and girls modern.

Being modern is having a paradigm shift and mentality change that can be characterized by mutual respect and recognition for opposite genders, the notion that it is good if a girl is bold and if a guy shows emotion publicly, it is perfectly alright, the sharing of both traditional male and female roles, duties and chores and for Indian guys and Indian girls being responsible and sentient of their every conduct and deed.

Read More

THE COMPLEXES BEHIND CHILD MARRIAGES IN INDIA

A 16 year old girl recounts that her parents bartered her into a marriage when she was 15. Her dreams of completing her education by going to college and to provide a better life for her family were shattered. She implored her family not to marry her off but it fell on deaf ears.

Komal, from India is now a mother of a child in a marriage she did not want. Since she became pregnant, she has hardly been allowed to step out of the house.

She was blamed and scoffed for not producing a son by her husband and in laws and she said sometimes, when the others are not at home, she would read her old school books and hold her baby daughter and cry.

Many girls from India share the same fate of Komal, specifically in poor, remote communities across India.

Child marriage, like the caste system, dowry system and female infanticide and foeticide is illegal in India, punishable by long jail terms and hefty fines to the perpetrators, yet child marriages continue to happen till this date.

Child marriage is not exclusive to India --  every year, throughout the world, millions of young girls are forced into marriage in developing and poor countries like Yemen, Pakistan, Niger, Chad, Mali, Guinea and South Asian, West African and sub-Saharan African countries.

Like India, child marriage is outlawed in many countries and international agreements forbid the practice yet this tradition is still rampant, especially in 3rd world nations.

In some countries, girls are used as bargaining chips to strengthen alliances, pay family debts, leading to child marriages. Families may want to divest themselves of the burden of having a girls. In extreme cases, they may want to earn money by selling the girl.

This could stem from poverty, pressures from their communities, partners and even their own families.

Almost all marriages in India are arranged marriages -- rather than an union of two foolish young man and woman besotted with each other, Indian marriages are the union of two families and caste and social status play active roles in the commencing of arranged marriages.

In India, child marriages are conducted at night, in secrecy and it is very difficult to detect. If police do make arrests and stop a child marriage from happening, the bride to be will be spurned by any suitor and her family will be disgraced for life, perhaps for generations to come. It is a stigma intertwined in Indian culture spanning centuries and to change such ingrained establishments overnight is not possible even by the force of law and order. It is, indeed, extraordinarily complicated.

For almost all girls, child marriage means goodbye school and hello motherhood way too early. Girls as young as 13 become mothers to babies fathered by their husbands who are years older than them (some, old enough to become their grandfathers) when they themselves are babies. Pregnancy and childbirth take a toll on the girls' health.

The pregnant teens don't only lack proper nutrition or health care, girls who are pregnant at age 15 or younger are also at higher risk for eclampsia (seizures), anemia, postpartum hemorrhage and puerperal endometritis (uterine infection).

Girls who are not fully physically developed are at risk for prolonged labor, which could result in obstetric fistula. This condition, marked by a hole in the birth canal, usually results in the death of the baby and makes the mother incontinent.

The girls have their education, childhood, adolescence, freedom, innocence, health and basically their own convictions and desires stolen by the very people who should nurture them, i.e their parents, relatives and community.

The families don't realize that by curtailing the education of girls by marrying them off before they are 18, they are only perpetuating the cycle of poverty.

When asked why the girls are either not sent to school or made to quit school halfway, the answer was there were no female teachers there.

When girls are not educated, they can't get into life changing professions like educators or at least be an educated mother whose top priority would be educating her children, especially her daughters. And, it's a vicious cycle.

Still, families in India especially in Northern India do this for a number of reasons -- perhaps they can't afford to feed the rest of their children and paradoxically because they love their daughters and have their best interests in their hearts but not necessarily the best for the girls, given the typical western ideals.

Many girls from poor families in villages are sent to work instead of school. These young girls work in the fields under punishing circumstances, in sweltering or wet weather and suffer the possible consequences of young men having sex with them before they are married, which, in that culture renders her, basically an outcast for the rest of her life.

For some parents, they vindicate that they are protecting their daughters from possible rape because they live in a society where the loss of the virginity of a young woman out of wedlock, renders her an outcast.

In the abstract, the government people of India has stressed that education is important. But, it becomes kinda irrelevant when you live in a remote village and the only school there only offers education up to 5th grade. If a girl is to further her education, she has to step out from her village to go to school or college in the city and long bus rides and walking distances are required, With predatory men on the bus and lurking on roads makes the venturing out of the village itself dangerous. The prime example for this is the med student who was gang raped in a moving bus in Delhi in December 2013.

Faced with the status quo above, you don't send your daughters to school no matter how much a government personnel tells on how important schooling is.

So you have no cultural option, no effective schooling system past 5th grade, no tradition in regard of individual rights per-se, where you can choose who to marry and more importantly when you want to get married, girls are either married off early or 'booked' in a ceremonial wedding proceedings so that the girls would have a sense of belonging and don't go astray. 

Since the intended girls' future is already a foregone conclusion, the intended boys are free to acquire a formal education, even abroad, while their 'wives' receive an 'education' at home on how to do household chores and how to serve their husbands.

Society needs to change, caging patriarchal establishments should be crumbled by education, effective schooling system should be phased in and girls education should be given top priority. 

Women are an asset to a country, not a liability and when I say asset, I don't mean their bodies -- I mean their brains, capacity and capability.

Read More

COMFORT WOMEN OF THE WW2: A FORGOTTEN TRAGEDY

The following content is extremely graphic and it might distress some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

We all know of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki nuclear bombing by the US which halted the Meiji Revolution and put an end to Japanese occupation and World War 2.

We all know the atrocities committed by Khmer Rouge regime in Myanmar which left around 2 million people dead in the most horrific way.

We all know of Sri Lankan Tamils being brutally killed by the Ceylonese government during the civil war between the LTTE and the Ceylonese army under the thumb of Rajapakse.

But, how many of us know of some 80,000 Chinese women, gang raped and sadistically murdered by the Japanese soldiers during World War 2?

Here is their story -- a forgotten story that needs telling where humans are capable to carry out bestial deeds.

If one wants to cripple a nation, a society or a community, the easiest way to do it is to rape and destroy the women.

And, rape was employed fully as a tool to bring China to its knees in the bygone era.

Mothers and babies, old women and little girls were raped, mutilated or immolated alive by Japanese soldiers during the war and women who were attractive were branded and held captive as a little more than sex slaves to 'serve' the Japanese soldiers and officers as they made their way to Nanking.

During the journey to Nanking, those women were raped by hundreds of soldiers before being killed and discarded like trash along the roadside.

As a matter of a revolting fact, every soldier was promised a woman if they kill lots of Chinese.

Many Japanese soldiers derived a sick kind of sexual pleasure by stabbing half naked women and men with their bayonets and swords, over and over and over again.

One survivor reminisces:  "A dozen of Japanese with bayonets rushed into our house and shot my father and grabbed my baby sister who was being breast fed by my mother. Then they drew a bayonet into the baby, stripped my mother and raped her. They killed my grandparents and stabbed my 3 year old sister and me.with bayonets. Then, they dragged my elder sisters out and raped them. I saw both of my elder sisters lie in a pool of their blood. They were dead."

The soldiers happened to have a barbaric fetish for violating their victims with swords and knives.

"He tried to rape me. I managed to kick him and take his bayonet. He cried out in fear and other soldiers came to help him. They stabbed me continuously until they thought I was dead." - Li Jianfen -

In order not to get raped, young women cut their hair short, smear their faces with soot, bind their breasts and wore the clothing of men.

In Nanking, many women hid in the hospital and college and other safety zones. John Rabe, the German businessman who tried to save Chinese civilians from the atrocities of the Japanese in Nanking wrote in his diary that the Japanese intended to let the refugee starve as they began to hold food back from the safety zones.

The Japanese demanded that those who were in the zones to return to their homes which have been burned down, promising if they go back to their homes, they will be provided with food and water as well as protection when in fact the Japanese only wanted to 'use' these women as servants by day and sex slaves by night.

Chinese comfort women

The Japs considered Chinese women to serve only one purpose -- they were to be raped. Day in and day out, the soldiers scour the city in search for women to rape and torture.

A Japanese senior officer maintained a harem of over 2 dozens of young women.

A Japanese soldier said that the women, no matter how young or old cannot escape from the fate of being raped.

Women aged 10 to 80 were gang raped then killed when they can no longer satisfy the men's libido. Trucks were sent to seize women and every woman was allocated for 20 soldiers for sex and abuse. Countless women were taken captive and forced into sexual slavery.

Each soldier was issued a Red Ticket with the seal of his company's commander and they line up wearing only their underwear, waiting for their 'turn.' One such soldier said, "The women don't bother to wipe off the semen pouring out from their vagina. They just lie there, with their legs open as soldiers get in one by one."

They called these women 'public toilets.'

The assaulting and stabbing groups of young women, many of whom have been dragged out of their homes or places of shelter were common in the city.

More than 80,000 Chinese women were repeatedly raped by Japanese soldiers, forced to expose themselves in front of dozens of soldiers before and after they were sexually assaulted.

The Japanese even attacked a local hospital, gang raping the female staff there. More than 1,000 rapes happened every night.

On many occasions, the Japanese raided the Gingling college, kidnapping and raping hundreds of women, considering the college as their own pleasure palaces.

If fathers, brothers and husbands intervene during rapes, they were shot. Rapes committed by Japanese soldiers and officers took place in broad daylight, in front of spouses, children and other family members.

Beautiful, educated women were taken to serve in the harems of colonels and major generals. Children as young as 3 and elderly women as old as 70 were gang raped mercilessly by a dozen or more soldiers. Many were gang raped to death.

Many young women were tied up to beds, accessible to all comers and the most beautiful of Chinese women were taken into captive and repeatedly, violently and mercilessly gang raped by hundreds of soldiers over several days. When they become too weepy or too diseased to arouse desire, the women were disposed off.

Raping and bayoneting Chinese women were commonplace in the city and the Japanese soldiers made a game out of torturing and raping women with their higher ranking officers encouraging the soldiers to invent new and amusing ways to torture and murder the women.

A veteran Japanese soldier said that they took turns raping the women and then stab and kill them. "While raping her, we looked at her as a woman and when we killed her, we looked at her as lesser than a pig," he shrugged.

An elderly lady who survived the ordeal remembers her 7 month pregnant cousin being raped to death by 8 soldiers. "They stabbed her again and again with bayonets until she died. There so many naked bodies of women who have been gang raped then killed lying on the streets, their breasts, cut off," she sobbed.

Pregnant ladies' bellies were cut open by the soldiers and some women were bayoneted in their abdomens and intestines were spilling out from their bloodied bodies. Some have pieces of wood stuffed into their nether regions and the Japanese soldiers shoved bayonets and bamboo poles up the women's genitals. John Rabe wrote: You can't breathe out of sheer revulsion when you keep finding naked bodies of women with long bamboo poles thrust up their vaginas."

In one instance, several soldiers, after raping and killing a pregnant woman, presented her foetus on a bayonet to their commanding officer and was met with rapturous laughter.

It can't possibly get sicker than this. This black episode will haunt China for a long time and it is a story that should be told so that it won't repeat itself in any part of the world.

Read More

WHY RELIGION IS NONSENSE IN THE FACE OF MOTHER NATURE'S WRATH

You were minding your own business, studying, working, taking care of your family until one day, a natural disaster struck.

Your life, as you know it, turns upside down; you lose your family, your home, your job and practically everything you have.

Then, you look for something to blame or take solace for the misfortune and almost always, it would be the God of the religion you belong to.

In the face of natural disasters which cause massive human crisis, religions and rites somehow become irrelevant especially when mass deaths occur.

Every religion has its distinct burial rites -- Hindus cremate the bodies of the dead while in Islam and Christianity, the dead are buried.

But, when a country or a person is up against dead people everywhere in public places who have been killed by an earthquake or a tsunami and whatnot and it becomes a health threat to those who survived the event, is it possible for emergency humanitarian workers to determine the religion of each of the dead?

Ok, this corpse is Hindu, burn it.

This one is Catholic, bury it.

Oh, this one is Muslim, bury it and make sure it gets its Yassin recital.

Note the usage of 'it' and 'its.' After death one is considered as a body, not a human and when mass deaths due to natural debacles happen, the value decreases even more so as other overriding issues assume priority.

So, religious dogma becomes something totally not considered in such a scenario of great human loss. 

In Malaysia, an Islamic country, where Muslims are prohibited to convert to other religions, a Hindu family didn't get to cremate one of their dead family member who supposedly converted to Islam when he was living and the Malaysian Department of Islamic Development confiscated the body and it was buried in an Islam burial ground, the Islamic way.

The reclamation above is not possible to be carried out in any natural calamity ravaged zone.

The practical thing to do is bury the dead in mass graves to make way to the living, as seen in the 2004 tsunami and this recent typhoon Haiyan that ripped through central Philippines. No ceremony, not even a Rest In Peace citing simply because there is no time and scope as well as mental state to do so. Practicality, urgency and common sense overshadow religions and even God.

Religious rites and gods are the last things on the humanitarian workers' minds as they go about their rescue and recovery missions.

After every natural disaster, people offer prayers and with the advent of tech, Facebook and other social networks, they have practically become a hive for prayers for the victims of a natural catastrophe.

I don't understand how prayers will help the victims of an earthquake or a tsunami or a typhoon.

What the victims really need are shelter, food, water, medical supplies and care and money to come out from their ordeal, not prayers. 

No amount of prayers would fill hungry tummies, quench thirst, bandage wounds, set up shelters and amenities, take victims to a safe place, comfort terrified children and assist a mother to give birth to her baby.

No, prayers don't do all that; human action does. All the aid and rescue and relief crew, military, police and navy personnel work day in and day out to help the people to move on from a disaster perhaps God brought about rather than air pressure, seismic activity, tectonic faultlines and global warming. Above it all, 'God loves us.'

So, don't pray for the victims of the terrifying, deadly typhoon Haiyan. They need your contribution in an extant, touchable, usable form. A small donation of $10 would make all the positive difference in their bid to continue living. Your $10 might feed 3 hungry children. That is far, far, far more helpful than your prayer. 

The peace and solace one may find during and after a disaster of the scale of typhoon Haiyan cannot be nothing more than an illusion.

Read More

OF TAMIL MOVIES AND REALITY

15 Nov 2013

It is a commonly known fact that the Indian movie industry is the biggest on the planet and movies are a big deal for the people of India.

Indian movies are made in many languages like Hindi, Telugu, Punjabi, Kannada, Tamil and whatnot.

I watch Tamil movies from India a lot and I like them as well. But, of late, it struck me how bad most Tamil movies are to the audience, especially for gullible youths.

To understand the reason we have to go back to the past.

India was under British rule for over 200 years, and many people of India back then were deprived of the most basic necessities and were unaware of tech as well as developments happening worldwide.

After independence, Indians began making movies in their own languages and when they saw their mother tongues echo with resonance in theaters, they were overawed. It was like a miracle for them.

Since most Indians at the time were the slaves of the British and were kept away from knowledge and information, cinema became a source of knowledge and information.

And then India gradually shook off her British rule and the Indian masses began to acquire formal education but due to political shenanigans and corruption, India is plagued by widespread poverty and utter ignorance in some parts of the vast country.

Cinematic technology has, since developed in India and while it's nowhere near the standard of Hollywood, for many non English speaking Indians, even in this 21st century, they have no the slightest idea of the physics of films behind the screens and pre-production work involved.

The direct result from this ignorance is the glorification of cinema and the idolization of the people on screen which are literally seen as gods as the line that divides reel life and real life gets blurred.

And because of that obsession with heroism, Indian film directors began to project the actor as superheros that can fight off 30 baddies single handed, without even a strand of their hair falling out of place.

During the colonial period, the British looted everything and India, in this case, the people of Tamilnadu suffered severe adversity and they were looking for a life saver and they saw such a man only on screen and they made him the Chief Minister of Tamilnadu. The man is none other than MGR.

If that veracity is left to the past, it is a path to progression but sadly, it is not the case. Cinematic heroism adulation has been followed through to this day -- it, perhaps embedded in the DNA.

A bus conductor turned actor who appears in films romancing heroines half his age is considered a spiritual guru and a role model for many Tamil youth. This particular actor is always asked when will he enter politics and it would be no surprise if he becomes Tamilnadu's Chief Minister in the near future. Ironically, he is not Tamil -- he is a Kannada.

The actor described above is Rajinikanth and he is indeed a good man without airs in real life and reached this level in his career due to hard work. The key word here, is acting is his job and some Tamil masses leave their jobs to see his acting. This is where the problem begins.

Many Tamil young men began smoking because of Rajinikanth. In his movies. smoking is depicted as stylish and Tamil males fall for it hook, line and sinker.

Before a Tamil movie starts, there will be a warning made that smoking and drinking is injurious to health but the caveat is almost entirely dismissed.

Perhaps if actors like Rajinikanth, whose every word is literally taken as the word of god, says in person that smoking and drinking are harmful to health, young Tamil smokers and drinkers would quit the habits cold turkey. 

But, social awareness is alien for most Tamil film makers and Tamil movies actors.

Kaase, panam, dhuttu, money, money matters.

And, fans set up fan clubs for different actors and hold that their favorite hero (leading actors in the Tamil movie industry) is the greatest and that other heroes are zero. And, this doesn't apply to Tamil cinefield alone; it's all over India.

To name a few:

Tamil = Vijay vs Ajith

Telugu = Chiranjeevi vs Nagarjuna

Hindi aka Bollywood = Shah Rukh Khan vs Aamir Khan

Malayalam = Mohanlal vs Mamooty

Fights happen among fans over issues concerning which hero is mass and which hero is piss and if there is no death penalty for murder in India, homicide related to this stupidity might have occurred.

In real life, Indian actors are good friends with their opposite numbers and have healthy competition in the field that feeds them and their family. Yes, acting is their ricebowl and the Tamil audience are kinda not in touch with this reality. For them, actors are literally Gods who need to be defended and sometimes, worshiped.

When the movie Endhiran, starring, Rajinikanth and Aishwarya Rai was released in Tamilnadu in 2010, milk was poured on the movie cut outs by his die hard fans. The pouring of milk is a Hindu ritual called pal (milk) abhishegam where milk is poured on Hindu anthropomorphic deities in temples.

Women clad in yellow saris carried pal kudam (silver pots containing milk) so that the movie Endhiran, also dubbed in Hindi and Telugu bearing the title The Robot, would fare well in the cinemas, seeking divine intervention so that a man, 10 times well off than them would become richer.

The two former paragraphs corroborate my claim on cinema heroes being worshiped. And, the worst part is, the actors who the Tamil audience so admire and exemplify condone this outlandish practice and utter stupidity and needless and senseless waste on behalf of their fans for self serving intents.

As though worshiping actors is not enough, temples are built for cinema heroines who are mostly not Tamils in the first place; they are Hindi speaking ladies who predominantly originate from North India who got absorbed into Tamil cinema to fulfill the fetish of some audience members for fair skin.

There is a perceptible pressing, almost mandatory need for many Tamil movie goers to watch their favorite heroes' movies in theaters on first day of release and first show, particularly on festive days like Diwali and Ponggal (harvest and thanksgiving festival).

One dude didn't get to watch his favorite actor, Vijay's movie, Thalaiva on the first day of its release and he committed suicide because of that. He was 21 and the only son for his poor parents. The application of the theory of Eugenics is so very apt here, speaking euphemistically.

Responding to the suicide, actor Vijay offered his commiseration towards the deceased's family but he did not condemn the ridiculous, defying all logic and common sense act. Why, you may ask. It is because the actor's cinematic survival relies heavily on such blindness and idiocy.

And, it is a norm for Tamil movie fans to accord sobriquets for their favorite actors. Rajinikanth is known as Superstar. Silambarasan or fondly known as Simbu is called Young Superstar. And, Vikram, who shot to fame following his blockbuster movie Sethu, in which his nickname is Chiyaan, decided to adopt that name as his sobriquet and he is known as Chiyaan Vikram.

The above's actors' sobriquets are acceptable because they are in relevance to what they do -- act in films. But, sobriquets like Ilaya Thalapathy for Vijay and Thala for Ajith are not only misleading, they are sending all the wrong messages to youngish Tamil movie goers. The terms 'Ilaya Thalapathy' and 'Thala' basically mean leader and head.

Isn't it pathetic when Tamil masses look up to actors as leaders and role models instead of notable Tamil iconoclasts such as Subramaniam Bharathiyar, Periyar, Kamarajan, scientists like Abdul Kalam and Srinivasa Ramanujam and inventors like Sundar Pichai and Shiva Ayyadurai?

Indian movies have song and dance sequences in them; there is no separate soundtrack in them like Hollywood films. The Indian cinema industry employs a whole lot of experts like choreographers, costume designers, art directors, sound engineers, music composers, playback singers and whatnot due to this phenomenon.

On the Oprah Winfrey's show, Abhishek Bachchan quipped that in Hollywood, when you fall in love, you kiss but in Indian cinema, when you fall in love, you break into a song, dance at locations everywhere in the world and change a dozen costumes in 5 minutes.

Song and dance are indispensable factors in Indian cinema. Many films have become high grossing hits just by the songs in them. Like how a rough and tough policeman character is expected to kick the asses of baddies and recite long punch dialogues to make the villain get mad, he is expected to have some swell dance moves alongside his love lady.

And, what is Indian cinema without love? Love is a must have in Indian films plots. Concerning love, there is also a connection made with skin color, an extreme paradox. While the actresses are snow white, they profess that the dark skin of the heroes is pulchritude and it is not vice versa. Dark skinned women are not considered beautiful in India and movies only entrench such mindsets.

In the name of love, Indian movies objectify women. The zoom on the heroine's midriff and cleavage in the dance and song sequences are absolutely distasteful and how the hero handles the body of the heroine induces nausea. The romance in Indian film industry is not romance -- it's perversion bordering criminal and the complete sexual exploitation of women.

But, the Tamil movie industry is improving with realistic and gripping story lines that need not be supported by songs, heroism, a separate comedy track and action but real life circumstances.

Movies like Anbe Sivam, Unnai Pol Oruvan and Vishwaroopam starring Kamal Hassan can be cited as neo Tamil films.

Films with minimal budgets and featuring ordinary looking actors are now being produced by the Tamil film industry, namely Pizza, Naduvule Konjam Pakkathe Kaanom, Soodhu Kavvum and Itharkuthane Aasaipattai BalaKumara.

The films experimented with unfamiliar waters, based on cult and black comedy as well as intelligent supernatural thriller genres. It hit the right chord of Tamil movies audience, especially youth who are embracing change in Tamil movies.

Ultimately any movie is for entertainment purpose only and if we can learn from movies, it is an advantage. Take the good and leave the bad from any films.

Read More