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This article contains crude language. Reader discretion is advised.
Dear young Indian males,
Does this dialogue below sound familiar?
"Hey, how is that girl?" prods a young Indian man to another.
"She's definitely hot but I don't think she is marriage material." his friend counters.
"Why do you say like that? What's wrong with her?" the young Indian man presses on curiously.
"Hmm, let's just say she is a lock that has been opened by many keys. She is messed up, her ex told me. If I were you, I'll stay away from that girl."
The young Indian man grouses,"It seems that are no good Indian girls nowadays. They are all sluts and bitches."
"So true," his friend say as they walk away, shaking their heads with repugnance and it is a matter of time until another girl become their target to moral police.
Shocked by the sheer blunt conversation? Don't be. It is real and it is happening in the young Indian male fraternity as we speak.
I am not narrowing this down to only Indians. As a matter of fact, the dialogue above is true for cultures that place heavy emphasis on the chastity of girls. But, this is a conversation that shouldn't happen in this age and time, regardless of the culture.
For women who choose not to be sexually active before marriage, it is their choice and I don't have a problem with it. I only have a bone to pick with men and some women who consider the whole worth of a girl lies in a freaking fragile membrane between her legs. This epitomes all that is wrong in the Indian society, something fundamentally and terrifically flawed Indian ethos.
Indian men can go around having one night stands while Indian women are supposed to be the manifestation of Sita, always on cue to jump into flames lest her chastity gets doubted. And, we call Lord Ram as the perfect man when he doubted his better half and later abandoned her, when she was pregnant with his children in a jungle when hearsay fell on his ears. If this kind of traits in men are considered righteous, it doesn't get anymore sick than that.
And, it doesn't help with Indian cinema dishing out this 'good girl' vs 'bold girl' image with plots advocating that only meek, submissive girls who blush bashfully at the mere mention of sex are wife material
Perhaps two stellar Tamil movies I watched that describe my rant in the above aptly are Padaiyappa and Thimuru with 2 assertive and bold women characters essayed by Ramya Krishnan and Shreya Reddy, better known as Neelambari and Eswari after the roles they respectively played in both movies.
I bet many Indians clapped and cheered in theater when the leading hero characters played by Rajinikanth and Vishal in both movies get the rebellious, opinionated, head strong ladies to pull their punches around men, telling them to behave like a woman, not like a man. This notion is not a cinematic liberty. It is a product of the patriarchal Indian society that is aghast when a woman is bold and aggressively expressive and this perceived ideal is excessively being stuffed into the ensuing generations.
In the movie Padayappa, Rajini would 'classify' women in Sanskrit; Saathvigam (the respectful, timid marriageable women), Prachothagam (girls a man would bang then leave) and Bayanagam (women that cause men mortal fear) and say that they should be pronounced properly. At that moment, I got convinced that both Rajini and Sanskrit failed Indian women.
One might argue that Rajini simply cited what was on the script but if he really advocates that women should not be categorized as such, he should have turned the script down. What if women classify men as such? I'm certain that many men would rise up and say,"You woman! How dare you classify men, you bitch!"
There is a general idea for some young Indian males that if an Indian woman dates, goes clubbing, drinks and smokes, she is only good to bed once then leave her after mission is accomplished. Such guys then move on to marry a priggish, homely girl. The ultimate pre-requisite in finding a bride for such men is that her hymen is intact and her body, 'untouched'. If you ask me, it is sexual performance anxiety on behalf of the men, that they can't handle a sexually experienced, confident girl.
The common Indian perception is that a sexually active girl cannot be righteous. It is because sexual purity has become a yardstick for appraising good character in Indian women.
You think only men have sexual urges? No! Girls are hormonal beings as well and experience sexual urges. While we tell girls to suppress their sexual urges, guys are told it is okay if they can't control their penises if they are in a girl's company.
Girls who are not virgins are looked upon as slutty and promiscuous.
But, Indian young men seem to be oblivious of a simple equation that doesn't take an Einstein to figure out; common sense would suffice but many guys will their common sense away when dealing with this issue.
In order for a girl to lose her virginity, there should be a partner in the form of a guy. In the aftermath, all the blame and shame are piled up on the girl and the guy is free from persecution and goes on screwing more girls with impunity. And then, they say that it is the girl's fault for not resisting.
Recently in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh, a guy stripped his girlfriend naked in a historical building and ran off with her clothes when she didn't consent to have sex with him. So now I suppose it is the girl's fault that she got stripped off her clothes and left naked. If she had agreed to have sex with him, he wouldn't have left her in such a lurch.
And then this claim among young Indian men that they are virgins and expect their bride to be a virgin too. I'd say that such men would have pounced on the opportunity to have sex like a cheetah. They happen not to have such chances at their disposal.
What if their virgin wife has indulged in oral and anal sex prior to marriage? It doesn't count I suppose.
Purity lies in the mind, not in a freaking membrane between a girl's legs.
The choice of being sexually active or chaste should not be central in defining a woman. Instead of putting virgin on top of your checklist when appraising a woman, try putting qualities like intellectual, intelligence, independence uppermost and watch where it takes you.
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